My trainer said something to me today that really got me thinking about where my life is. He said, “You’re in a complete transition. You’re transitioning in every area of your life right now.” He’s right: my job, my career path, my body, my goals, everything that I am focusing on in my life right now is in transition. Among other things, I’m in the middle of my healthy weight challenge, three months away from losing my job, and on the hunt for not only a new job, but a major change in career.
But I’ve been here before. Not all at once like this, but in each of these areas I have been at this place before: at the edge of something old, near its end, looking over this murky chasm to something new, blurry, and strange . However, this time it’s different; it even feels different. The biggest difference is that I’ve made some absolute decisions. Until now, I’ve never really said “no, I’m not going to do the sure thing, because I want to do what I want.” I’ve never said, “I’m not going to make concessions for myself when the way seems unclear.” My choices this time have never been this way: and in turn, I feel more confident than I have ever felt during a transition.
I guess because there’s so much of my life is in transition I feel less likely to “jut go with it”. If I fully take advantage of this time, I could come out of this being a whole new me living a whole new life. But even if it doesn’t work, I already feel better knowing that I am making (and will make) a real effort achieving my dreams. The new is not blurry or strange: it’s brilliant and familiar because I’ve dreamed about it for so long. It makes me less afraid to wade through the murky chasm, because the other side seems clearer when I’m looking with self-confidence.