While The Accidental Swipe is totally fictional, it’s inspired by my non-fictional blog serial #MyTinderSeries that chronicled my online dating escapades on Tinder. How readers engaged with that series was exciting. I hated that the outcome (no potential relationships–or situationships for that matter) wasn’t more positive not just for me, but for the people who were reading along, and maybe hoping–for me and maybe themselves–that I would find someone.
I thought, just because it didn’t work out for me, it doesn’t mean I can’t create a happy ending out of this situation. What if it had worked out? What would that look like? And thus THE ACCIDENTAL SWIPE was born.
Who are Jason and Fortune? (Mindsets of single 30- and 40-somethings)
As I started writing the book, I found myself thinking more about what people look for when they’re dating and in their late thirties and forties. For me, it doesn’t feel unusual to be single with no children at this point in my life. In fact I’m find myself in a lot of spaces in life where women are single and thriving at 30-something, 40-something, and on. Most of the time it’s because they have the rest of life to deal with. for instance, I work about 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week at 3 jobs, and I commute about 7 hours a week, so there’s rarely enough time to even find someone, let alone date them. Many other single women I know have these hectic schedules filled with a lot of work, family, and community obligations, and not much time for dating. This is where my female main character (FMC) Fortune lives and why she’s a bawse at everything except her love life.
But I know this is not everyone’s story. If I were still in the town where I went to high school, I would find married couples with children all around me. It might possibly be intimidating (thank goodness I don’t live there anymore). Some singles feel that pressure as the last single one in their circle, parents nudging (read: nagging) them to settle down with someone and give them grandbabies. Or maybe they just feel that pressure themselves, like they’re just not quite right
What I realized about myself
But when it comes down to dating itself, #MyTinderSeries showed me a bigger reason why many people don’t date–online or otherwise. I’ve been doing the online dating thing off and on for years and what I’ve found out about myself now that I’m essentially jaded about the process. I know I’m not the only genuine person on there, but let’s be honest: straight guys can be trash and get a date. Women have to present (and keep presenting) as near perfect before anyone pays attention to them online. And the sad thing is “near perfect” is some arbitrary society standard that people, when they do find love, toss out like yesterday’s trash. It’s a game of appearances, misrepresentation, and misperception, and out of that people are supposed to find something genuine. Hey, like I said I’m jaded.
And this is why Jason and Fortune are both jaded lovers–they’ve been through the dating ringer and come out empty and unfulfilled.
Wish fulfillment
The great thing about writing this one though was the fun dates, cute dating outfits, and bright nail polish (for Fortune … although Jason’s into it). The actual dressing up and getting my hair and nails done was the best part of dating for me. At some point I hope to do it again. I hope I’ll be able to fit into my pair of red “hotpants” shorts when I do. (And yes, I wrote those in. You’ve got to check it out to see what happens on that date. 😉)
